THE LAST LADIES YOU EVER WANNA DATE

It’s funny though, how so much energy is put into trying not to fall into the hands of the wrong girl and choosing the right one but still seeing it take place everyday. If it didn’t, there wouldn’t be an estimated number of one million four hundred and twenty four thousand six hundred and fifty seven breakups daily. Yes! Statistics has it, I’m not bluffing. I mean think about it, you guys always think you have the strategy and everything under control, you think you can actually study her from the onset and know the kind of lady she is forgetting the fact that the world is changing and nowadays people are not who they seem to be and sometimes they’re just actors in a screenplay. Forget it first impressions are not always the best judges nowadays. So forget it you can’t be too sure. So some people would judge based on her career, they’ll say;

‘don’t date a lawyer, you’ll never win an argument with her, don’t date a doctor; you’re never gonna be as hygienic as she wants you to be, don’t date an accountant; she’s gonna make you put everything into future savings, don’t date an engineer; she’s too smart for you, don’t date a mass communicator; she talks too much and don’t date an athlete; she’ll punch you in a fight’

Well I did a little research and asked some guys this simple question

‘What girl is the right kind of girl not to date?’

And here are some of the few responses I got

OTHUKE: The kind of girl that is lazy towards her book, secondly asks for money too much and the kind of girl that gives me nothing when I happen to be stranded

PRECIOUS: The kind of girl that likes getting attention, has a sweet tooth, too unbearable when pissed off, cynical, poor sense of humor and lies a lot

KAZEEM: A girl who quarrels with me more times than she smiles with me, one I’m not free around and not myself with

LANKY: Rude, bad mannered, body odor, bad sense of humor and lies a lot

TIMI: The kind of girl that talks too much, talks about all the guys she’s being with, never asks questions about me, too much make up, vain you know mirror looking etc

BAYO: Girls that disturb too much and monitor my every move like some FBI, anti social babes, girls with big stomach is also an issue

Yeah, you all have your checklist of your own perfect woman. Tall, fair, hourglass figured, good sense of humor, smart, for some stupid so you can push around, diplomatic, good English...and a long list of the kind of woman you don’t want dirty, demanding, quarrelsome, cynical, unconfident, paranoid etcetera etcetera. Some guys don’t have a checklist anymore, you just date explore have fun! You know…. But let’s admit me no matter how much you guys claim to be all macho and emotionally fit, there’s that one girl that you put sooo much into, gave all your attention, tried everything to make it work no matter people’s critics and warnings but still ended up breaking you. Well that’s not my main focus. Mine is to my knowledge you don’t wanna go there with four classes of ladies. You never wanna get serious with this people, never. Who are they?

THE DRAGONFLY

The dragonfly represents carefree attitude, swiftness, flighty, stubbornness, inquisitive and freedom

This is the kind of lady who doesn’t care and just wants to have fun. She’s the kind of girl that still wants to stay out late with her friends, drink till she’s hung-over, grind almost all the guys in the club, make out with any guy, then come home bummed. She really doesn’t buy the idea of going out with you at night and would give you an excuse like

‘Ben it’s an all girls night. You should stay home or hang out’

Yeah. She’s the girl version of a guy in his twenties who just wants to play. She’s probably tired of getting her heart broken over and over again and is done with commitments. Except you are not ready for something serious which I doubt is gonna be okay because you guys have that jealousy gene in you, you don’t wanna go there. She’s the kind of girl that get comfortable too easily and the kind that would have her first hangout with a guy in her living room. She’s never going to take you serious forget it. She loves going out a lot more than normal and would change any topic getting too serious and doesn’t want to settle down but wants you around. She’s the kind of girl that smiles back at that random smiling at her irrespective of the fact that you’re there and claims she’s just being friendly and you’re overreacting. A flirt is an amateur compared to her. Avoid her like flu because well, you know how it’s gonna end so just save yourself the heartache and look for someone better.

THE EAGLE

The eagle represents predator, strength, power, and protection, wealth, demanding spirit, intelligence, renewal and potency.

I know you can see the problem with this kind of lady but there’s one, she’s too powerful and that’s gonna choke. She’s going to look at you as that little mouse in her claws and try to prey on you and try to control you. You don’t have to settle down with her. Trust me, she’s going to control your every move, which girl you talk to and which girl you don’t, who you hang out with and who you don’t, what’s good enough for you and what’s not. Soon she’ll turn to the man in the relationship and if you’re not careful you’ll find yourself doing everything she wants so you can please her trying to meet up with her standard. She’s gonna push you too hard till you fall, then she’ll just cross over you and walk away leaving you broken. She’s the kind of lady that criticizes your choice of wine at a dinner date and has the bottler change it to French not considering your pocket. She walks shoulders high and full of herself, she’s very straight forward and would state her dos and don’ts from the onset: I don’t play around, I hope you don’t still live in your moms BQ, I like a guy with a job and class, I can’t stand it if a guy still acts like a boy bla bla bla. Summary she’s a perfectionist.

What makes her hard to leave? She’s every guys dream. She’s smart; you can show her off and be confident enough that she won’t embarrass you. You’ll probably think she’s good enough if not too good for you. She has an awesome outlook. She has this charismatic attitude that would make you look at the guys with that ‘I told you she’s amazing eyes’ but you know it ends there. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s an eagle.

Don’t even try to change her point of view. You’ll never win. Just work away and move on to the next. That’s my best advice.

THE FOX

 The fox represents cunning, intelligence, feminine magic, diplomacy, wildness, cleverness, subtlety and discretion

No sugar coating this; she’s gonna use you like a sugar cane. When she has you, she’ll break you, slice you, chew you, and then spit you out. She’s gonna use you soo much that you would be too blinded to see and she knows her way of going around it. Don’t forget she’s a fox, she’s highly diplomatic. She leaves no footprints on the first date, her paws are smooth and subtle and she’s the girl with the kindest eyes but cruel heart. She’s the kind of girl that would reach out for her wallet when its time to get the bill or volunteer to get the drivers door from inside when you close the door after her. She’s trying to pass this message that she’s an angel and she’ll try everything to do so until you fall into her trap and get caught. She’ll probably catch your fancy I mean, she has that feminine magic; beautiful eyes, lovely looks, soft voice…………you never really know her until she is complllleeeettttly done with you. I mean, leaves you with nothing then you’ll see her wild side.

She’s too nice and I know this, no girl is too nice. I’m serious, if a girl takes every of your bull, start being suspicious cause there’s always a glimpse of aggression in ladies, its programmed in our gene and any girl that covers that repeatedly is susceptible. You cheat and she goes

‘Baby I understand, guys do this every time we’ll work this out’ (yeah, as long as you keep the money coming you can screw all you want I don’t care)

She’s the heart breaker, gold digger, she’s the last nightmare you wanna have. Well she’s not easy to spot. But you’ll know when you go far and she starts joining the dependant ratio little by little until she’s a full member. Just hope your cloak doesn’t get stepped on by her paws cause even if you manage to run, she still tears a bit of it.

THE DEER

The deer represents Love, gentleness, and sensitivity, purity of purpose, walking in the clouds, swift, meek, gentle, meditation, love, and longevity

Ladies and gentlemen meet Bambi, the dreamer and the Disney character. She has her heads in the cloud, she’s that spoilt brat who watched too much Disney and now thinks relationships happen like snow white and sleeping beauty………….she’s the easiest to prey on but the hardest to get rid off. She’s the dreamer she believes in wishing on stars, all it takes is a kiss, dance or duet to know if he’s the one, you too will live happily ever after in a castle far far away. Then she turns to the psycho stalker when you two break up and you’ll actually feel sorry that you dated her and that guilt would hunt you for the rest of your life. You don’t want to end up with a deer. She’s unrealistic, she believes life is simple, she has no ruggedness and is too naive for real life. She would never get it when things don’t go her way or the gold slippers doesn't fit in at that period, she doesn't get the fact that this is the real world and sh*t happens.

She’s the fast one to submit and you don’t need to do too much to woo her. But you know what they say about things that comes too easily, be careful! She doesn't know how to handle stress or heartbreaks and would blame it all on you. She believe you are her problem fixer and she’s never gonna get that you’re not. She believes as longs as you’re here everything is going be bunny and roses but she’ll never get that you’re no super glue to put her together. So you don’t wanna get hooked up with her, it never ends well and sooner or later you’re going to turn to her enemy and trust me hell knows no fury like a woman scorned she’s going to hate you and you won’t like it. So just go for an average girl not an easy target, it never ends well

So my point exactly, yeah yeah you have your own specifics but you would really want to watch out for this four classes of women; the none committed dragon fly, the pushy eagle, the cajoling fox and the dreamy deer.

                                      FINI….