REASONS WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL

Relationships can be stressful can’t it? Guys let’s talk about this. You meet a beautiful girl; she tickles your fancy and everything about her gets you in all the right places, she seems intelligent, put together, she looks like a girl that has a good head on her shoulder, got a smart mouth on her and everything she says makes sense, she’s your type and you just know it. The exact kind of girl you want in a lady, she makes you feel like you finally have someone you know, that someone you can call baby. That one person that is your person. But just when you start committing your all, being the best you can be in a relationship and missing important football matches because of her, you find out that she has two boyfriends, oh plus you making three. Okay not one, two. So you are just one of the many. Isn’t that unfair? That’s unfair don’t you think. Y’all guys that turn to hardcore assholes at the end and assume all girls are two for one kobo, I’m sure it’s start from somewhere like this. I won’t judge but I’ll say that in our twenty first century; greed is more rampant than the common cold, bum shots are the new trousers and almost everyone feels they have some kind of market to sell. Lies have become the new L word and no one wants to beLIEve; *sigh*

And we girls go through failures in relationships too. We meet a guy, good looking in our own way, he has a sense of humor, holds good conversations, makes us feel special, plays sheep all the time even when we go all DIVA on him, apologizes even when we are wrong. So we think he’s the it guy, independent, in control and smart. Even if he isn’t a 100, well he is to us. Then we fall in love, deliberately using our hands to yank our hearts out and put it on a stake. We try to be there for him through thick and thin and even though we know things might fall apart we give it our all anyways and then it happens, he changes. We see the monster we didn’t see initially. Dude starts acting up, stops calling, we catch him numerous times flirting. He just turns to a jerk because, wait; yeah! He thinks he already has us forgetting the fact that no one is irreplaceable

So in both cases things fall apart and breakups preceding heartbreaks happen. Because what you considered important turned to a big sack of bullshit. That was it right; it failed. Just like the previous ones.

But why do they fail is the bone of contention here. What went wrong? Relationships are supposed to be our comfort zone, resting place after a shitty day, a place to chill just when everyone seems annoying, someone to talk random shit with and laugh with. It’s supposed to be our own freestyle ground where we will feel happy and safe. But in this our age and time relationships has taken a whole new turn into an unhappy and unsafe ground. So I threw a little question to my BBM contacts

“From your own perspective, why do relationships fail”

And I got a few decent responses

My girl Tobby said

“Because they don’t define what they actually want in the relationship. I believe the reason why you should go into a relationship is because you are ready for marriage. If you are not ready for one don’t go into it. Once you define what you want in a relationship, you set your goals towards it and you feel the goals you’re setting is not what your partner is setting; it pays to back off and leave the relationship so you won’t end up having a broken heart. So I guess it fails because we don’t define what we really want, lust just took over and we got carried away.

Seyiode said

“Unrealistic expectations leading to disappointment, lack of commitment by either of both parties, this leads to problems like lack of interest, failing in the face of challenges, cheating which could also lead to lack of trust by the other parties

Olaolu said

“Most of them fail because either the man or woman fails to be contented with what they have”

Michelle said

“Change, you don’t see the guy you fell in love with so you think you deserve better”

Well what are my own reason why relationships fail?

1.UNFAITHFULNESS
No matter how discreet a man/lady can be about cheating, problems will always come up when you decide to have more than one partner

Comparism: You look at A and B and you want A to do things exactly how B would and A isn't B so there will be a problem

Paranoia: You cant leave your partner with your phone confidently for 10 minutes without peeping to see where he is going. And you never check to see who the caller is infront of him

Divided attention: we all have just 24 hours in a day. Now I know a little distance is healthy but what happens when the three of them had a bad day some day and they just want their baby for the night.

Either ways, unfaithfulness brings about problems in relationships. You dont even have a problem if A breaks up because you know B is just around the corner. So try to stick with one partner and if youre getting intimate; one partner please.  So problems dont arise

2.LACK OF COMMUNICATION
I like people that state what they want, how they want it. They let you know when they are offended, when they like or hate something you are doing and what they expect from you. You see, communication goes a long way in building a healthy relationship. Dont assume, communicate. Assumption kills.
"Paul why don't you call like you used to anymore"
"Cecilia I dont like the fact that you talk to many guys, I like my girl reserved"
Tell him before you start dating what you expect from a relationship and ask if he is up to the task. Ask him if he has a girl, let him say no so if he's caught, you have something to tie his neck with. And during the relationship let him know when he is going out of line. Communicate, talk.

3. THE 21 ST CENTURY SOCIAL MEDIA
I love my smartphone; I blog on it, text when I’m bored, use it to take breaks between busy schedules, and many more. But also, we will agree that this gadgets and gizmos and causing problems in relationships

I can stalk your likes and comments on IG and query you about anything fishy

I would complain if you never use me as your dp

And when you use other girls, it had better be their birthdays

Either ways this problems cause a lot of heartbreaks and misunderstandings. Little things will bring about the most unnecessary fights. I believe one of the reasons most of our parents worked out was because all they had that time was NITEL and numbers but now we have varieties and we can meet people who can destroy something good we have through this varieties. My advise is that your relationship is no ones business but yours and your baby's. So relax, he doesnt have to use you as his dp to prove he isn't cheating. That's just a fucked up theory

4.LACK OF TRUST
Ladies and gentlemen, the main cause of most relationship failure in the 21st century. Let me start by saying this; if you have a partner, you two are probably having sex and you feel you cant trust him; always blowing his phone asking him to call you baby before he hangs up and say he loves you, tackling him for pictures so you can be sure, you are checking his phone like a crazy girlfriend and clearing his history, you are stealing numbers of regular female callers and sending threatening messages... If you are doing all this and more I have an advice that will save you from hypertension; break up with him. Yeah, I said it. You're a detective, he's a suspect and that is not a relationship, that is just an investigation. Relationships are built and based on trust so if you dont trust him end it please. That's just it because it's already a failed attempt to have a boyfriend. So if you want that which you're in to last then learn to trust him.

5. NO BACKBONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
You see, we cant avoid troubles and hardtimes in relationships. So what happens if troubles like unemployment, sickness, family dispute, differences in genotype or the likes of it come. Do you just walk away or you stay in it, fight for what you want and pray? Nothing good comes easily so if you feel you have to walk away everytime a problem arises, the relationship has no backbone and that causes a lot of breakups in our century. So if you want it, fight for it dont run away from it. Nothing ever gets better by running from it but by working on it

Go readers, narrow the number of exes you should have in a lifetime. Let it not pass a double digit. You'll avoid a lot of problems that way. Thank you for reading, do have a blissful day

READ THE FICTION INVADED ON www.storycocktail.blogspot.com