WHEN THINGS GET MESSY
At times; life can be overwhelming. Let’s face it; we have to struggle to get results. Read to pass an examination, workout to have a great body, persevere and face rejections to make it, breathe and wait when things don’t work out. And at times this struggle messes with our initiative and upturns our regular pattern of thinking. I used to tell someone a while ago; life is simple; people just twist it up and turn it into their own personal devil but someone made me realize that life is not that simple but struggling through it with a calm mind that all is gonna be okay makes it easier. Here’s a true life example of a shipwreck who feels life’s unfair; Ebony .K. Wills.
EBONY’S STORY Ebony .K was a young lady with a lot of potentials; she was a passionate artist and a beautiful designer. She was fortunate to be part of a beautiful family, the third of three girls each following each other with nothing more than one year and a few months. Though her father died when her mother was pregnant for her, the family still maintained its aesthetics. Ebony was a little bit different from her elder sisters. She was not as smart as the two of them were and was a little bit on the big side compared to her two skinny sisters. Apart from that; she had a serious case of myopia and couldn’t take more than two steps without her glasses and all this things made her timid and stammer in the midst of people. Mandy her mother looked at her as an extreme case of mutation. Her father was gorgeous, had no eye defect, was tall and built and was the smartest man she had ever met and her; well she was an ex beauty queen, she was beautiful and was always mistakened as the kids sister because to the public she didn’t look like the mother; Ebony did. She was nothing like Mandy, Kat or Mckenzie. She was extremely odd and Mandy didn’t like the site of her but at the same time Mandy couldn’t get rid of her because she was her child so instead of loving her, she endured her and Ebony knew this. She knew she was an outcast, the shaft that couldn’t be thrown away, the black sheep. She knew it because her mom hesitated to answer the ‘is this your daughter’ question and normally made Ebony sit at the back sit in the car and never beside her. And her mom complained about her every time she made a mistake and yelled at the top of her lungs.
At seventeen, Ebony became a different person entirely; she always walked away at every chance she got, she yelled back at her mother, rolled her eyes at every warning and turned strong headed, rebellious and her mom lost total control of her. Her mentality was I would never do anything right, I am never wanted by anyone, I am ugly and unpleasant, any love shown to me is simply sympathy. I am useless so she kept everyone in her life in the dark and letting anybody in was totally impossible. Ebony suffered from severe inferiority complex at school. People made fun of her size and the guy she liked wanted nothing to do with her so she decided to try anorexia and binged out every little food she took into her stomach. Diet pills became her food supplements and every time she got upset, she took in sedatives to calm her nerves. This affected her inner spirit and she became an overbearing troubled teenager which made her mom detest her more. Yes, she lost a lot of weight and got contacts but she was damaged within and needed to be fixed.
Ebony didn’t make her JAMB at first sitting so her mom got rid of her by sending her to do diploma at UNILAG. There she met Toby a final year English major; a guy who made her fall head over hills in love with him. She was completely in love and couldn’t think straight when he was around her. He was the only one that saw her laugh and fool around. To Ebony, he was everything she hoped for and her special therapy to feeling like a normal person. So when Toby asked her out she didn’t hesitate to give him a yes! Finally her life was making sense, someone liked her and she liked the feeling and him in particular. Toby showed her everything she had been lacking in life; affection, love, adventure, excitement everything. But he also showed her everything that would destroy her and she was too blinded to see. He gradually introduced her to drugs and different species of weed. So their normal daily routine was to get high on coke after which they would have sex. Making love he called it but later it just turned to meaningless sex. Then they would get high again and drink then have sex again. He took her clubbing almost every night and everyday she was over at his place. She forgot her roommates, family and most of all school. It didn’t take long before she became trash to him but she was so addicted to him that no matter how badly he treated her and how much she got angry with him, she always came crawling back and begging. She became a psychopath, a crackhead, a junkie, a waste of space. Her nervous system was fried and so was her life. She didn’t have the money for the coke or the means so she needed Toby anyway no matter how terribly he treated her. She knew she was a mess and longed to get out but couldn’t bring her mind to settle down for her body to change, she couldn’t do anything
One Friday afternoon, she went over to Toby’s place. She was itchy and really needed to get high. As she walked in slowly, She sighed bitterly, he was doing it to her again. She followed the trace of female heels, top and jeans plus Toby’s cloth. She got to the room and saw the most disturbing sight of him screwing another lady
“Oh my God” she said excusing herself from the room quickly and closing the door immediately. She stood at a spot confused on what the smartest move at the moment would be pacing left and right. After a while, Toby came out with a towel on his waist and no sign of remorse.
“Eb………..what is wrong with you, I said you should always gimme a call when you are coming”
“I know……I I am r real ly sorry I just needed to see you” he sighed and eyed her
“Sick Junkie” he mumbled and entered his room. He later came out with a plastic bag
“I’ve got no money…………..but this would do you for two days. Now you can leave my house” she looked at him and eyed him
“What is it?”
“What is it?! You’ve got another bitch in your room and you’re asking me what is it!” he sighed and looked round
“I would’ve told you it’s not what it looks like but I suspect you are not a fool anymore. It’s an ex girlfriend nothing more”
“So her been an ex makes it okey right……..Toby”
“Look Eb……… I don’t have time for your shit so why don’t you get the hell away from my apartment and come back tomorrow so we can talk about this like civilized people”
“Oh really….Toby……….so what new excuse would you give me tomorrow, you were gonna get paid, she was sick and you were the cure, what what excuse?”
“Eb……………….get out and come back tomorrow! I’m beginning to get really mad!” he growled. She folded her arms and leaned back on the wall. In raging anger he grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the door. She struggled and continued repeating she wasn’t leaving then finally broke free then slapped him
Well you know how the remaining story goes. She was battered blue black. Injured from head to toe then tossed outside. Her body was broken but nothing compared to her twisted mind.
Two days later, as she opened her eyes and saw her sad mom and sisters, a female doctor and her roommate looking at her, she sat up hurriedly
“Ow” she sighed touching her head. The doctor put her to lye down slowly
“Toby, Toby did this to me”
“Who is Toby?” her mom asked with tears in her eyes
“Her boyfriend” One of her roommate Teju said
“H……he didn’t mean to it was all my fault I should apologize” she said sitting back up
“Apologize, baby he did this to you no matter what you did………”
“Shut up!” she interrupted in a lazy voice. “It’s been six months mom since I left home for school. There has been two public holidays in between and one break I never came home for any and you never bothered to call. Now you are here pretending like some caring mother and shedding crocodile tears. I don’t need you or anyone just get out” she said lying back
“Ebony how dare you talk to mom like that” Mckenzie snapped
“she is not my mom so I can talk to her anyhow I want to” Ebony interrupted
“Doesn’t still give you the right to address her however you want to” she snapped
Kat her eldest sister stood at the corner quiet
“Ebs…………..the doctor found cocaine at your back pocket. When did you start doing drugs”
“None of your business Kat you know you strangers should leave me alone instead of asking me dumb questions about the choices I decide to take in life please. And please do me a favor and leave please………..damn!” she closed her eyes and pretended to return back to sleep.
“Let’s give her sometime.” The doctor said leading them out of the ward and shutting the door beside her.
Ebony opened her eyes and tears poured out. She had just realized once again that her life was a mess and there was no way she could change it. It was too late to her she was so deep into the mess she didn’t think there was a way out. She wanted to hit something, wish she was different; maybe born into a different family or raised differently or looked better and even had a better personality to change herself but she was too weak for change
It’s been ten years now. I passed Ebony two weeks ago. She is a grown twenty eight years old lady, a UNILAG diploma dropout and isn’t yet married. She was outside a hotel, a cigarette between her finger and was flirting with a juvenile who came with his friend to have a good time and pick up prostitutes. Her sisters are doing well; both married one is a lawyer and the older one a bank manager, she is an aunty but she would never know because neither Mckenzie nor Katherine wants their kids near her. She bluntly refused help from her mom and was never taken back by Toby. Oh Toby? He got clean. Newly married with an expectant wife. Works in an advertising firm and he has settled down pretty good.
You think I’m going a little Amy Winehouse here? All good but we do know; shit like this happens in our life. You may not be into crack or come from an unfair family but there are those things; those issues that some of us do face and if not taken care of, can destroy us and no matter who or what we try to pin it to; an unfair upbringing, a bad family, peer pressure, the need to fit in, difficult major, overbearing father we fail to forget that this is our life and this things this excuses that think it’s okay for us to be damaged would leave us. So you have a horrible temper and you blame on the fact that your dad was nasty and unbearable, you sleep around and you blame it on that uncle that abused you or that boy that promised you the moon and stars and broke you, you do drugs and you blame it on the fact that you were fact that daddy imposed pre med on you while you dreamed of becoming an actor and you need a distraction, you suffer from an eating disorder and you blame it on the fact that you weren’t just lucky to have a perfect body and this is the only remedy to sliming down. All this handicaps of our humanity as I call them are not enough to change us cause at the end its our life and we either make or mar it no matter the circumstance. I read somewhere
“The grace of God wouldn’t take us where the mercy of God wouldn’t keep us”
Life would give us issues wrapped beautifully with a ribbon on it; how do we handle it? Point blank I’m gonna deliver it to you. This life is simply for survivors it’s like Darwin all over again and the earth is like a frigging pyramid a lot at the button and a handful at the top. Life is surely gonna give us challenges we have to take them and crush them instead of letting them make us. Your challenge is like a gigantic iceberg in the middle of an ocean. The ocean is life and you are the sailor behind the wheels of a ship. It might be the atlantic in the middle of Africa or some ocean somewhere in the attics. Now where the ocean is depends on how fast the ice would melt. If it is in the atlantic; it would be faster but if your ocean is in the attics it would be much slower. But sooner it would all melt and you would be free to steer through and continue sailing without hitting the ice and acting Titanic 2. Now at times we look for an easy way out of this ice, a way to break through without the normal way out so we turn to other misguided comfort eg drugs, alcohol that’s when we try to sail through the ice and turn to a shipwreck. We should slow down and take life one step at a time and at the end things would work out.
I know you are waiting for some Bill Gates to give you a low down about life. Well take it from me; read and practicalise and you would turn to some Bill Gates
EBONY’S STORY Ebony .K was a young lady with a lot of potentials; she was a passionate artist and a beautiful designer. She was fortunate to be part of a beautiful family, the third of three girls each following each other with nothing more than one year and a few months. Though her father died when her mother was pregnant for her, the family still maintained its aesthetics. Ebony was a little bit different from her elder sisters. She was not as smart as the two of them were and was a little bit on the big side compared to her two skinny sisters. Apart from that; she had a serious case of myopia and couldn’t take more than two steps without her glasses and all this things made her timid and stammer in the midst of people. Mandy her mother looked at her as an extreme case of mutation. Her father was gorgeous, had no eye defect, was tall and built and was the smartest man she had ever met and her; well she was an ex beauty queen, she was beautiful and was always mistakened as the kids sister because to the public she didn’t look like the mother; Ebony did. She was nothing like Mandy, Kat or Mckenzie. She was extremely odd and Mandy didn’t like the site of her but at the same time Mandy couldn’t get rid of her because she was her child so instead of loving her, she endured her and Ebony knew this. She knew she was an outcast, the shaft that couldn’t be thrown away, the black sheep. She knew it because her mom hesitated to answer the ‘is this your daughter’ question and normally made Ebony sit at the back sit in the car and never beside her. And her mom complained about her every time she made a mistake and yelled at the top of her lungs.
At seventeen, Ebony became a different person entirely; she always walked away at every chance she got, she yelled back at her mother, rolled her eyes at every warning and turned strong headed, rebellious and her mom lost total control of her. Her mentality was I would never do anything right, I am never wanted by anyone, I am ugly and unpleasant, any love shown to me is simply sympathy. I am useless so she kept everyone in her life in the dark and letting anybody in was totally impossible. Ebony suffered from severe inferiority complex at school. People made fun of her size and the guy she liked wanted nothing to do with her so she decided to try anorexia and binged out every little food she took into her stomach. Diet pills became her food supplements and every time she got upset, she took in sedatives to calm her nerves. This affected her inner spirit and she became an overbearing troubled teenager which made her mom detest her more. Yes, she lost a lot of weight and got contacts but she was damaged within and needed to be fixed.
Ebony didn’t make her JAMB at first sitting so her mom got rid of her by sending her to do diploma at UNILAG. There she met Toby a final year English major; a guy who made her fall head over hills in love with him. She was completely in love and couldn’t think straight when he was around her. He was the only one that saw her laugh and fool around. To Ebony, he was everything she hoped for and her special therapy to feeling like a normal person. So when Toby asked her out she didn’t hesitate to give him a yes! Finally her life was making sense, someone liked her and she liked the feeling and him in particular. Toby showed her everything she had been lacking in life; affection, love, adventure, excitement everything. But he also showed her everything that would destroy her and she was too blinded to see. He gradually introduced her to drugs and different species of weed. So their normal daily routine was to get high on coke after which they would have sex. Making love he called it but later it just turned to meaningless sex. Then they would get high again and drink then have sex again. He took her clubbing almost every night and everyday she was over at his place. She forgot her roommates, family and most of all school. It didn’t take long before she became trash to him but she was so addicted to him that no matter how badly he treated her and how much she got angry with him, she always came crawling back and begging. She became a psychopath, a crackhead, a junkie, a waste of space. Her nervous system was fried and so was her life. She didn’t have the money for the coke or the means so she needed Toby anyway no matter how terribly he treated her. She knew she was a mess and longed to get out but couldn’t bring her mind to settle down for her body to change, she couldn’t do anything
One Friday afternoon, she went over to Toby’s place. She was itchy and really needed to get high. As she walked in slowly, She sighed bitterly, he was doing it to her again. She followed the trace of female heels, top and jeans plus Toby’s cloth. She got to the room and saw the most disturbing sight of him screwing another lady
“Oh my God” she said excusing herself from the room quickly and closing the door immediately. She stood at a spot confused on what the smartest move at the moment would be pacing left and right. After a while, Toby came out with a towel on his waist and no sign of remorse.
“Eb………..what is wrong with you, I said you should always gimme a call when you are coming”
“I know……I I am r real ly sorry I just needed to see you” he sighed and eyed her
“Sick Junkie” he mumbled and entered his room. He later came out with a plastic bag
“I’ve got no money…………..but this would do you for two days. Now you can leave my house” she looked at him and eyed him
“What is it?”
“What is it?! You’ve got another bitch in your room and you’re asking me what is it!” he sighed and looked round
“I would’ve told you it’s not what it looks like but I suspect you are not a fool anymore. It’s an ex girlfriend nothing more”
“So her been an ex makes it okey right……..Toby”
“Look Eb……… I don’t have time for your shit so why don’t you get the hell away from my apartment and come back tomorrow so we can talk about this like civilized people”
“Oh really….Toby……….so what new excuse would you give me tomorrow, you were gonna get paid, she was sick and you were the cure, what what excuse?”
“Eb……………….get out and come back tomorrow! I’m beginning to get really mad!” he growled. She folded her arms and leaned back on the wall. In raging anger he grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the door. She struggled and continued repeating she wasn’t leaving then finally broke free then slapped him
Well you know how the remaining story goes. She was battered blue black. Injured from head to toe then tossed outside. Her body was broken but nothing compared to her twisted mind.
Two days later, as she opened her eyes and saw her sad mom and sisters, a female doctor and her roommate looking at her, she sat up hurriedly
“Ow” she sighed touching her head. The doctor put her to lye down slowly
“Toby, Toby did this to me”
“Who is Toby?” her mom asked with tears in her eyes
“Her boyfriend” One of her roommate Teju said
“H……he didn’t mean to it was all my fault I should apologize” she said sitting back up
“Apologize, baby he did this to you no matter what you did………”
“Shut up!” she interrupted in a lazy voice. “It’s been six months mom since I left home for school. There has been two public holidays in between and one break I never came home for any and you never bothered to call. Now you are here pretending like some caring mother and shedding crocodile tears. I don’t need you or anyone just get out” she said lying back
“Ebony how dare you talk to mom like that” Mckenzie snapped
“she is not my mom so I can talk to her anyhow I want to” Ebony interrupted
“Doesn’t still give you the right to address her however you want to” she snapped
Kat her eldest sister stood at the corner quiet
“Ebs…………..the doctor found cocaine at your back pocket. When did you start doing drugs”
“None of your business Kat you know you strangers should leave me alone instead of asking me dumb questions about the choices I decide to take in life please. And please do me a favor and leave please………..damn!” she closed her eyes and pretended to return back to sleep.
“Let’s give her sometime.” The doctor said leading them out of the ward and shutting the door beside her.
Ebony opened her eyes and tears poured out. She had just realized once again that her life was a mess and there was no way she could change it. It was too late to her she was so deep into the mess she didn’t think there was a way out. She wanted to hit something, wish she was different; maybe born into a different family or raised differently or looked better and even had a better personality to change herself but she was too weak for change
It’s been ten years now. I passed Ebony two weeks ago. She is a grown twenty eight years old lady, a UNILAG diploma dropout and isn’t yet married. She was outside a hotel, a cigarette between her finger and was flirting with a juvenile who came with his friend to have a good time and pick up prostitutes. Her sisters are doing well; both married one is a lawyer and the older one a bank manager, she is an aunty but she would never know because neither Mckenzie nor Katherine wants their kids near her. She bluntly refused help from her mom and was never taken back by Toby. Oh Toby? He got clean. Newly married with an expectant wife. Works in an advertising firm and he has settled down pretty good.
You think I’m going a little Amy Winehouse here? All good but we do know; shit like this happens in our life. You may not be into crack or come from an unfair family but there are those things; those issues that some of us do face and if not taken care of, can destroy us and no matter who or what we try to pin it to; an unfair upbringing, a bad family, peer pressure, the need to fit in, difficult major, overbearing father we fail to forget that this is our life and this things this excuses that think it’s okay for us to be damaged would leave us. So you have a horrible temper and you blame on the fact that your dad was nasty and unbearable, you sleep around and you blame it on that uncle that abused you or that boy that promised you the moon and stars and broke you, you do drugs and you blame it on the fact that you were fact that daddy imposed pre med on you while you dreamed of becoming an actor and you need a distraction, you suffer from an eating disorder and you blame it on the fact that you weren’t just lucky to have a perfect body and this is the only remedy to sliming down. All this handicaps of our humanity as I call them are not enough to change us cause at the end its our life and we either make or mar it no matter the circumstance. I read somewhere
“The grace of God wouldn’t take us where the mercy of God wouldn’t keep us”
Life would give us issues wrapped beautifully with a ribbon on it; how do we handle it? Point blank I’m gonna deliver it to you. This life is simply for survivors it’s like Darwin all over again and the earth is like a frigging pyramid a lot at the button and a handful at the top. Life is surely gonna give us challenges we have to take them and crush them instead of letting them make us. Your challenge is like a gigantic iceberg in the middle of an ocean. The ocean is life and you are the sailor behind the wheels of a ship. It might be the atlantic in the middle of Africa or some ocean somewhere in the attics. Now where the ocean is depends on how fast the ice would melt. If it is in the atlantic; it would be faster but if your ocean is in the attics it would be much slower. But sooner it would all melt and you would be free to steer through and continue sailing without hitting the ice and acting Titanic 2. Now at times we look for an easy way out of this ice, a way to break through without the normal way out so we turn to other misguided comfort eg drugs, alcohol that’s when we try to sail through the ice and turn to a shipwreck. We should slow down and take life one step at a time and at the end things would work out.
I know you are waiting for some Bill Gates to give you a low down about life. Well take it from me; read and practicalise and you would turn to some Bill Gates
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