FEMALE BEHAVIOURAL ANALYSIS 101


Let me start this write up by clarifying one fact; I'm a girl. Yes some people still doubt it, I'm confused....still confused. But I'm a girl with the boobs, the behind, the snappy attitude and the unneeded drama. Yep! I'm a babe. So believe me when I say girls are not simple. We are complex beings while you guys are easy going beings. Imagine this scenario; a guy probably in his mid twenties asks a girl out (probably in her early/ mid twenties too) she agrees and well they decide to hang out you know go to some fancy eatery, cinema or somewhere somewhere (in some cases the guy's place which clearly I don't get) so the date's in progress and the girl is thinking..hmmm he's cute. Nice laugh, wow he has a sense of humor, nice company, good height. We could start something and we could go far and we could start figuring something together. He seems like that kind of guy. But the guy is thinking; she's hot. Great bod...*and other PG 18 thoughts* she'll probably be a freak on bed. Hope she can cook at least....... If I'm not mistaken; we girls are over thinkers. We may smile and act cool on the outside but the fact still remains that we over think things and over analyse the situation. If he checks a girl out; he's a perv. If he comes without a wallet he's a brokeass, if he talks dirty he just wants to get into our pants, if he doesn't call he's no more interested or he thinks I'm fat. Not that we might not be right but we give everything a thought so one thing we are is
WE ARE OVER THINKERS

Another scenario. Imagine if as a guy you have this....(What can I use) watch you love or like whatever. And you share a room with this friend a.k.a roommate. So you are out chilling with this friend of yours probably a girl and your roommate passes you and is wearing this watch
*Ted* he starts *Please I had to borrow your watch I wan impress one babe bla bla bla......* so you act cool I mean its just a watch. Now imagine this exact scenario happening with a girl. As an average girl we'll act cool at that moment when she'll tell us cause we don't wanna embarrass her but when we get back and we are talking to a close friend; this is what the convo will look like
SASHA: Meg can you imagine Bimpe wore my Rolex without my permission. My Rolex Meg my Rolex (wristwatch you mean).
MEG: And what did you do?
SASHA: Nothing! I couldn't fo anything. I was with Paul when she whispered it to me
MEG:  You suppose shout at am or collect your watch now. Ahn! She's crossing her boundaries Dele got you that watch
SASHA: I will in the room. I'll let her know she should dare not............bla bla bla
Now that's just the female gender for you. Guys would let it go as long as he returns it. Even though some guys are pretty materialistic but an average mature guy hates drama. He'll handle it without inviting Panorama or 20th Century to the scene. Now imagine Sasha telling a guy about the incident
SASHA: Richi can you imagine Meg wore my watch out this morning
RICHI: Okay, she'll return it she's your roomate.
No stress, no acting, no drama. So the second thing you should know about us is the fact that
*WE ARE DRAMATIC*

Third case scenario. You've done this before and she smiled and said it was okay. Then you did it again and hell broke loose. You don't get me? Okay imagine this.....Pete and Rose stay together as whatever you want them to be in your head; lover, roomies (not in a Nigerian culture though), relatives.
TUESDAY MORNING, 8:30am
PETE: (shouting from the room) Rose hope you don't mind if I use your lotion. My skins kind of dry
ROSE: (from the kitchen) Its okay just don't finish the whole bottle
THURSDAY MORNING, 8:30am
ROSE: Pete did you use my body cream?
PETE: (nonchalantly ) Yea?
ROSE(nagging) you what.....Oooo Pete. This cream cost me a hand and a leg. I'm managing it and you've  almost finished it can't you see its not heavy again. Stop touching my stuffs I thought I told you. Its the same thing you did on Tuesday...........
And Pete just stands there confused. That's it. Don't be mad at us. We have a lot going us with us anatomy and physically wise. We may be on our period or we may have eaten a lot last night and today we feel bloated and fat. We are girls its in our genes so another thing
*OUR MOOD SWINGS*

Lastly, when a guy breaks with a guy and she's sobering up to her friends with probably a packet of tissue paper and enough vodka to numb off the feeling, you hear things like
*Do you know how many times I had sex with that pig* or
*Can't believe I cooked for that son of a bitch* or
*He made me move in with him* or
*I can't believe I endured his crap* or
*I can't believe I ever loved him* or
*I can't believe I stayed up and waited for him while he was busy screwing around* or
* and I thought he was different*
Then the girls friends will tell her he's not worth it. That someone more deserving who will treat her like Cinderella will come along.
But if its the girl who broke up with the guy you hear things like
*I got that bitch a Micheal Kors worth 45k* or
*Cant believe I got her an I phone 5* or
*I gave her my freaking watch*
*Do you know how much I spent on her birthday* or
Then the guys friend will tell him to screw her and just mess around with cheap asses or she wasn't even that fine. Or her ass wasn't that big sef. Or she walked funny. Then they'll all laugh and bitch up the babe. So the fact is we love it. We love the undivided attention, the breakfast on the bed, the sweet sincere talk. We are lovey dovey. We love the affection. Why don't you guys get that! Really......we love that shit so last thing you should know about us is
*WE LOVE AFFECTION*
  
So as i was saying, we are complex being, we are weird in a kind of cute way, we are difficult to understand, and if someone wants to make a book about understanding us it would be like five law books put together. why do you think there are only relationship books for women and not viceversa. maybe its because guys don't give a shit but partly because there's a lot to write about. 

So that's it for today. thanks for reading and drop your comments! goodnight..............

Comments

  1. Ife Martins24 February 2014 at 20:45

    Interesting read with uncomfortably familiar scenarios...personally, I think it is these subtleties that actually define our gender makeup as well form the basis of our differences apart from physiological factors. How to handle peculiar types of dramas could make for an interesting sequel to the fabulous piece. Thumbs up sweetheart....and oh, don't turn the 'sweetheart' into a drama. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dr. Okechukwu4 October 2014 at 17:25

    Good piece

    ReplyDelete

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