THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A LADY

This is specially for the guys especially if you've ever been slapped by a girl before. Yes, I know you all are busy with your X-box, hustling or runs whichever, trying to keep up with your music, writing or whatever you love doing or balling with the guys...But I'll love if you just take a break out of your break and enjoy this little write up of mine.

Mistakes are being made most of the times by guys on what not to say to a lady. At times I wonder; do you guys say this things to piss us off or you do it subconsciously cause I don't get it, why set fire to a house you are locked up in with no way of getting out knowing that obviously; you'll get burned. Take for instance this gorgeous couple; Dana and Bigi

Dana is a normal, average girl next door. Loving, pretty, down to earth, reserved, smart, simply every guys dream. While Bigi though the opposite of her is equally as loving and caring as she is with a loud personality and a soft spot. He's simply the teddy bear you always wanted. One day,they were out with some buds at a roadside restaurant
'Hey!' Bigi shouted attracting the attention of the waiter and probably everybody in the restaurant. The waiter sighed and walked up to them to take their order.
'I'll have salad and a bottle of sparkling water' Dana's friend Veronica started
'I'll take a sandwich and a pet coke' followed Sam, Veronica's boyfriend.
'Coke, just coke I'm really not hungry this morning' Bridget, Bigi's cousin ordered
'Make it two' Bigi jumped in
'Three' Abdul, Dana's course mate interrupted getting the waiter confused 'And a chicken burger' he added
'Four' Dana finally said. The waiter sighed cancelling on her jotter 'And I'll have fried rice, stake and chicken' Dana added. Everyone stared at Dana especially Bigi who was beside her with a surprise look on his face
'Oh and Salad' she shouted over to the waiter who was already on her way. She wrote it down and walked away in an increased pace before she was called back. Everyone continued with their discussion. Well except Bigi who was still staring at Dana in awe
'Seriously Dana' he finally said. Dana turned to him with a don't bother me look
'Bigi what is it' she said rolling her eyes. He let out a little laugh and then looked at her unbelievably
'Seriously Dana, are you really gonna eat all that?....I mean.....whoo' (STRIKE ONE)
'No Bigi; I'll just look at it while it miraculously disappears' she answered sarcastically. Bigi laughed ignoring Bridget's pinching. Abdul folded s arms and leaned back knowing this was going to be just good.
'I mean...I love you but you're gaining extra pounds here and there. You should slow it down' (STRIKE TWO)Bigi whispered loud enough for the whole table to hear
'Bigi' Sam sang in a warning tone but his girlfriend covered his mouth. Dana let out a small laugh trying to hide her annoyance
'Bigi please let's not start with what I eat or what I weigh' she said her voice gaining volume 'No matter what I eat I'm never gonna get as big as you are; You're like four of Abdul' Abdul laughed out but stopped realizing he was the only one on the table finding it funny. Bigi's smile went away immediately. Did she just compare him with Abdul?
'Dana....I was just saying. But you're gonna get offensive because I corrected you I'm not gonna take_:'
'Oh please Bigi' Dana interrupted rudely 'like you're any better coming here and pretending like you're some strict eater. Just because we are out doesn't mean you should pretend ordering coke instead of your regular cheese burger with extra cheese' she snapped emphasizing on the extra. This time Veronica and Bridget laughed.
'Okay guys guys_:'
'Wow Dana...calm down! Don't take it too far! You're going haywire already. Why don't we just enjoy this meal and be quiet' (STRIKE 3)Bigi screamed interrupting Abdul
'Yeah good idea' Sam supported as the waiter put the food on the table. There was a long awkward silence as everyone looked at each other
'Coke' Dana said laughing rudely 'like you're some_:'
'You know what Dana I can't do this with you right now' Bigi said standing up and picking his car keys. 'You guys cope with this but I'm off to the dorm'(STRIKE FOUR)
'Bigi' Bridget cried but he left without hesitating
'Wow....this is awkward' Sam mumbled
 'Did he just call me "this"....Veronica?'
'I....I really wasn't paying attention Dana'
'Just eat Dana' Sam added as he started with his sandwich.

In the book, Men are from Mars women are from Venus by John Gray; Gray believes that the way ladies react to stress is different from the way guys do. Gray states that; when men's tolerance to stressful situation is exceeded, they withdraw temporarily, retreating into they caves it could be their garage or a friends place 'caves'. Gray states 'men do not necessarily focus on the problem at hand the time out makes them distance themselves from the problem and relax'. But for ladies retreating into the caves has historically been hard for them to understand, their natural reaction is to talk either directly to the person stressing them or someone about it. This leads to a problem were the men try to retreat and the ladies move closer. So do you want to avoid the problem of an angry woman screaming at your face when all you want is peace and silence? Here are some things you should never say to a lady

1.CALM DOWN

Any form of telling a lady to take a chill pill. I'm talking of 'relax, calm down, cool down, you're freaking out excetera would only stir up a lady's anger. Let me look at it from my own point of view; I am mad at you for not putting down the toilet seat and as I'm screaming my head out on how this occurrence hasn't reduced. You let out a small laugh and say 'babe calm down'. Congratulations you just pressed my red button and I'm gonna get pretty crazy now.
Here's what you should do? Why don't you keep quiet and let her talk. Give her the chance to express her anger. Nod like an understanding guy and apologize but not to shut her up. Marcel Archard quoted 'Women like silent men; they think they are listening'. Just let her finish. She will eventually. She's angry, pissed off, and is looking for a way to express her anger. You should thank God she's just talking. She didn't throw your X-box down the stairs or destroy something you love. She's just talking. When she's done, say something like 'Sweet I'm equally as stressed out as you are but let's just work this out and not argue' then tell her you'll try to change. I know its difficult. You guys loooovvve your ego but choose one keep quiet and let peace reign or talk and watch hell let loose

2.IGNORING WORDS

What do I mean by this; Baby later, whatever man, Not now, another time please, not again, I'm not ready for this, I'm busy can we talk some other time?. You just pointed out to her that what she came all the way to discuss with you, come to meet you, sat beside you, maybe perfected it once or twice in her head doesn't matter. So before you know it, she would rather switch off the tv, your laptop or pull you down to the sofa and snap 'how bout now!' To your face. Ladies hate being ignored. We may not admit it but we love attention. Why do you think we're the ones with the make up, the synthetic hair, dangling earrings, heels,...even our body was molded to attract attention. So you owe that to us. So if you are really busy don't just walk away. Explain things to her with a soft look. Say 'Anne; I know we really need to talk; I've been thinking about it too (even if you haven't) how bout later when I'm settled down. Now's not the right time' Now that's a logical way of handling it and if you're not just sit down be done with it without telling her to calm down in the middle. Trust me you don't want
to press the wrong button.

3.DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT HER BODY

Don't complain about her weight. She doesn't want to hear it from you. Don't compare her with things that describe her body. Don't call her a hippo, buffalo whale, chunk, santa, fatty, or a pig if she's fat and if she's skinny don't call her a twig or a broomstick, cronk or a hag. Don't question her choice of clothes if its suitable for her body type or not or what she eats. Don't be like 'are you really gonna eat all that' ladies hate hearing that. Eating most of the time for ladies is either due to our emotions or an obsession. Don't complain about her hips, ass, thighs, boobs stomach or the part she's insecure about. Its her body. She knows all that is going on on it. She knows when its changing or not you don't need to point it out for her. What if she asks me? You wonder. What if she wears something I don't like and asks you how she looks? Then you're free to tell her nicely. She asked for it so if she gets angry, its permitted.
So what am I saying? If you really think you should say something why not use wisdom to do it.
'Sweetie, you should really cut down on the carbs. I think its beginning to have effect' or 'The dress is beautiful but why not put on that blue one you love its more suitable for this event'. Try to avoid drama because really, we have a lot of it
'What if I don't like her make up' you might ask. Don't go 'whow, did you use all the mascara' say something like 'that make up is hiding the natural glow you have in your eyes'. Trust me she'll wash it before you say Jack Robinson. There is a reason she's asking you. Don't blow it

4.DON'T EVER INSULT A LADY

I feel I don't even need to point this out because you know its wrong.....so wrong to insult a lady. If you feel the way you need to correct a lady is by insulting her, I'm sorry but you lack sense of diplomacy. Yes, I know at times we ask for it with our pushy, aggressive, saucy or stubborn nature but you have to be patient with us like we are with you at times. We are like fire, you are the water. Don't be the gasoline. So if the bitch doesn't have a bad in front of it with a smile or a shrug, don't call her that. If she's not hung over, don't call her a slut. Don't whistle or squeeze your lips at her when she passes by. Don't try to have a word war with her somebody might get hurt. And trust me she will go to parts of your body you don't wanna talk about especially if you have no chest hair or you're above 20 with no beard. Believe it or not an argument doesn't end with a lady until she has the last say.
So how do you view the situation. Scientifically proven, some ladies are aggressive by nature based on their genes. It is said that they are scientifically programmed to be aggressive based on serotinin receptor gene. Even W.C Fields believes than no doubts exist that all women are crazy. Its only a question of degree. So when she's about to start walk away or ignore her. That's the mature way. Walk away and blame it on the genes

5.DON'T EVER COMPARE HER WITH YOUR EX OR A GIRL WHO HAS EVERYTHING

Don't go with 'my ex used to do this or that' or 'if it was Sheila she would do it this way' why don't you just show her without bringing up your ex. We don't want to hear about her; all the long romantic days you had with her, how she used to play games with you and how we wouldn't. Besides your previous relationship has nothing to do with us let it remain that way.
Dude she is not your fall back plan so don't compare. You were given a period to 'know her' before you started 'dating her' and I believe you made use of that thoroughly. At least we can cope with your ex. But that girl in the neighborhood with perfect hair, complexion, dentition, legs, eyes, nose, mouth, body. That barbie wanna be. DON'T EVEN GO THERE!. Don't compare her with that. Piece of advice; you want to pick up a long lasting fight with your babe, compare her with that girl. Say things like 'why don't you do your hair like *insert name of flawless female*' when she just had a new hairdo or 'that skirt is for someone like *insert name of flawless female* not for you' and you'll see the other side of her.
There's no solution to this. Just don't bring up the topic and we are cool


So, think like a man not a boy. Prove all those books wrong. Those books that say men are two years younger when compared to women the same age with them or men are less focused when compared to women. Be a strategic guy knowing when and how to do things. Be smart and you'll keep the right lady. You see a lot of dumb girls with smart guys but you hardly see a lot of smart girls with dumb guys. Choose :)